Managing Mental Stress in the Midst of Things You Cannot Control
- Princella Lee, LMSW
- Oct 14
- 4 min read
Updated: Oct 15
When Life Spins Out of Control
Not long ago, I had one of those weeks where it felt like everything was falling apart at the same time. A project deadline moved up suddenly, a family issue flared unexpectedly, and I found myself scrolling through the latest headlines — my body tense, my breath shallow, my mind racing.
Maybe you’ve had a week like that too.
As Black women, many of us live with the constant pressure of being the ones who hold it all together — for our families, workplaces, churches, and communities. But here’s the hard truth: life will always bring chaos. There will always be things you can’t predict or control.
What we can control, however, is how we respond, how we care for ourselves, and how we create moments of peace in the middle of it all.
This blog is about reclaiming that power. Because stress doesn’t have to define your story.
Why Stress Feels Different for Us
Let’s be real: stress is universal, but the way it lands on Black women often carries a heavier weight. Research shows we’re more likely to be the backbone of multi-generational households, more likely to lead in community work while navigating systemic barriers, and more likely to internalize the message that we must be strong at all costs.
This “strong Black woman” myth tells us we can’t break down, can’t pause, can’t let go — even when our bodies and spirits are begging for rest. And that constant pressure takes a toll: elevated blood pressure, chronic fatigue, burnout, and even shortened life expectancy.
Stress in this context isn’t just a personal issue. It’s a public health crisis.
But here’s the good news: we don’t have to accept this as our reality.
The Power of Reframing: Stress Is Inevitable, Burnout Is Not
Here’s the shift that changed everything for me: I realized I can’t always control what happens around me, but I can always create how I respond within me.
A Few Reminders:
We are the heroine in our story, not the sidekick. Stress is not the main character.
Rest is not weakness but resistance — a way of saying, my body, my spirit, my joy matter.
pushes us to name the core truth quickly: stress is real, but so are the tools we have to reset.
No one else has our story, so no one else gets to dictate how we live it.
Use your story to connect — leading with vulnerability, then offering solutions that feel authentic and grounded.
With that lens, let’s walk through practical ways you can manage stress when the world feels uncontrollable.
5 Tangible Practices to Manage Stress You Can’t Control
1. Name What’s Yours and Release the Rest
One of the fastest ways to reduce stress is to make a simple but powerful list. Write down everything that’s weighing on your mind. Circle only the things you can directly influence today. Everything else? Release it — even if just for now.
Say it out loud: This is not mine to carry right now.
Stress multiplies when we try to shoulder what isn’t ours. Naming and releasing creates clarity and peace.
2. Anchor in Micro-Moments of Rest
Rest doesn’t always mean a week-long vacation (though we love those too!). It can mean 3 minutes of deep breathing before a meeting, sipping your tea without multitasking, or turning your phone on “Do Not Disturb” for an hour.
These micro-moments are signals to your nervous system that you are safe. Over time, they rewire your stress response and create more resilience.
Remember: You don’t need permission to pause. Rest is your birthright.
3. Create a Vision Beyond the Chaos
Stress shrinks our vision — it makes us believe that what’s in front of us now is all there is. That’s why visioning is such a powerful tool.
Take time to journal, pray, or even create a vision board that reminds you: there is more ahead of you than behind you. What feels impossible now won’t last forever.
Your future deserves to be seen and celebrated before it arrives.
4. Lean Into Community, Not Isolation
Stress whispers, you’re the only one. But the truth is, sisterhood heals. Sharing what you’re going through with trusted women creates connection and perspective.
In the Collective, we say it often: We heal together. You don’t have to carry the weight of the world by yourself.
5. Invest in Spaces That Restore You
Some stress requires more than self-care at home. It calls for a sacred container where you can step away, unplug, and reset. That’s why we create intentional events and experiences — to help you come back to yourself.
Which brings me to some opportunities designed just for you…
Upcoming Opportunities to Reset with the Collective
🍷 Sip & Soft Life Fridays
An evening of mocktails, cocktails, sisterhood, and Soft Life talks to help you unwind, connect, and reset with ease.
🧖🏾♀️ Rest & Reset Spa Day – November 8, 2025 (Chicago)
A full day of spa access, sisterhood circles, and Soft Life strategies to help you release 2025 and step into 2026 with clarity. Whether you choose General Admission or the VIP experience, you’ll leave lighter, clearer, and ready. Space is limited.
🌍 Bali Reward Escape – March 19–24, 2026
Six days of waterfalls, beaches, cultural exploration, and sisterhood in the lush beauty of Bali. This is more than a trip — it’s a memory-making experience designed to remind you: life is short, and memories are everything.
You Can’t Control Everything, But You Can Create Anything
Life will always bring surprises — some joyful, some painful. But you don’t have to let stress control your story.
By naming what’s yours, practicing micro-rest, casting a bigger vision, leaning into community, and investing in spaces that restore you, you can reclaim your peace even in chaos.
Every pause you take is a declaration: I am worthy of care. I am worthy of joy. I am worthy of a life beyond stress.
We’d love to walk alongside you as you step into a softer, stronger 2026.
With love + clarity,
Princess Lee
Founder, Black Women’s Wellness Collective
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